WLW Death Wish Cup 2025

B̳̏͝Ȯ̷͇Ŵ̦́ ̵̖̄B̸̪ͩE̝̔́F̹̆́O͕ͣ͡Rͥ͏͙E̻ͣ͡ ͧ҉͉T̘ͧ͟H̡̰̑E̻ͮ͞ ̫ͤ́N̶͇̄Ȇ͓͞Wͪ҉̣ ̠ͫ͜G̱̉͘O̫ͧ͝D̝͗͝

It is March already and I haven't reviewed a single show from 2025. Time to get started on that, so today I'm Berwyn, Illinois to take a look at We Love Wrestling's first deathmatch tournament.

To give context to my excitement: The last few reviews I wrote delve into the deepest, darkest corners of fashion wastelands. In the coming weeks, you will read about my travels to endless tundras of black t-shirts and the windswept cliffs of tattered jeans. I have seen things, delicious friends. Things mortal souls (that are inexplicably judgmental about ring gear) can barely fathom. For that reason alone, I'm thrilled to see strong dressers like Dr. Redacted, Chuck Stein, Bobby V, and even true deathmatch fashion royalty – Lil Sicko – on this card.

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ROUND 1

Match 1 - Pop My Cherry Deathmatch - Jason Rage vs. Jason Devine vs. Hoodfoot

Match 2 - Wire and Ice Deathmatch - John Wayne Murdoch vs. Dimitri Alexandrov

Match 3 - Doors Of Death/Snap Crackle Pop Deathmatch - Dysfunction vs. Dr. Redacted

Match 4 - The Block Is Hot Deathmatch - Neil Diamond Cutter vs. Bobby V

Match 5 - Pins and Needles Deathmatch - Lil Sicko vs. Chuck Stein

Match 6 - Ultraviolent Baptism Deathmatch - Remington Rhor vs. Michael Krueger

Recap

Non-Tournament Match

ROUND 2

FINAL

Final Thoughts

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Let us begin, Capua.

Larry Legend opens the show by introducing the entrants. Since I'm not inclined to listen, I'll focus on the production aspect. Good light. After SVN's fever dream in the realm of blue shadows, that's a relief. In light of a previous review, I'm also glad that the introductions only take up 5 minutes of the total run-time of 3 hours 48 minutes. For comparison: Elsewhere, this ceremony took 10 minutes (that felt like a lifetime) out of 2 hours 20 minutes, and everyone was dressed like a bum.

PeaPod is on commentary. Good. I'm generally pretty neutral, positive-leaning about him. Again, I must refer to atrocities committed against my ears in past weeks (homophobic ramblings, straight up delusions). Today, even small things like 'living on a different continent than Kevin Gill' bring tears of gratitude to my eyes.

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ROUND 1

Match 1 - Pop My Cherry Deathmatch - Jason Rage vs. Jason Devine vs. Hoodfoot

Jason Rage wears black – tights, proper footwear, and he's shirtless. Bad colors, decent exposure, 100 % wrestling attire. He sure has Hoodfoot – black shirt, long gray pants, possibly sneakers or street shoes – beaten. Oh, how I miss the days of Hoodfoot wearing white trunks...

Jason Devine makes things more interesting with a white shirt over a black singlet, blue shorts, proper footwear. It's definitely a duel between the two Jasons. In regards to exposure, they're about even. Rage has the 100 % wrestling attire on his side, Devine the far better colors. I'm going with the latter, but it's a close call.

The stipulation involves lighttubes, at least one bat (might be gussets, might be thumbtacks) and what I believe to be a barbed wire board, and it's elimination. Larry Legend joins commentary as the match opens with a dominant Hoodfoot cleaning house. Once both Jasons are outside, Hoodfoot follows with a dive, then smashes the first tubes of the night over both. The barbed wire board is actually a lighttube board, and the camera does a decent job and stays on the action.

Back in the ring, the Jasons finally manage to gain the upper hand by teaming up against Hoodfoot with kicks and lighttubes. It only seems to make Hoodfoot angry, and he quickly turns the tide in his favor again. Both Jasons get tubes smashed on them, then Devine attacks from behind and gets in some carving.

The teamwork continues with a double suplex and a first one count on Hoodfoot. He evades a kick from Devine who hits Rage instead which ends their alliance. Devine takes a cheesegrater to Rage's head, then smashes more tubes over Hoodfoot's back. Rage comes back with a low blow against Devine, then positions the board – it's lighttubes and army toys – and gives him a series of punches in the corner.

Hoodfoot seems content to chill on the apron while the two Jasons throw in some actual wrestling that results in a first two count over Devine. Rage, now in charge, turns his attention back to Hoodfoot, but quickly returns to Devine and gets eliminated after being put through a bundle of tubes. Now Hoodfoot actually wakes up, and Devine adds a chair to the arsenal. Hoodfoot is unimpressed and goes for a suplex, Devine counters and floors Hoodfoot with a kick for a two count.

Devine sets up chairs and arranges the lighttube-army toy board on them, counters Hoodfoot's attempt to suplex him through it, and ends up getting floored with a cutter. Both are down and counted on now, but quickly get to their knees for a slugfest. A lariat floors Devine who then goes through the board with a Saito Suplex which gets Hoodfoot a three count.

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Match 2 - Wire and Ice Deathmatch - John Wayne Murdoch vs. Dimitri Alexandrov

While Murdoch's music plays, commentary says he won more deathmatch tournaments than anyone in the United States. As we all know from the DMDU D.R.E.A.M. 2024 commentary debacle, I'm keeping track and am happy to report that this statement is technically correct – for the moment. Matt Tremont caught up by winning said event, but it was not in the United States. Both are at 10 deathmatch tournament victories as of December 2024.

Waxahachie is in Texas today, and Murdoch is still not a flashy dresser. All black, long pants, very light on wrestling/sportswear, but he has proper footwear and he does wear his crown. Which isn't going to get him far on this card, even if I apply and double the ginger bonus. Natural beauty never overrules effort, so it would be over for my ginger prince the second he encounters Chuck Stein or Lil Sicko.

Murdoch has a microphone which means I only have a vague grasp of what he's saying. Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra. People are booing. Shaka, when the walls fell.

Dimitri Alexandrov also wears all black. Long jeans, shirt, leather jacket, proper footwear, barbed wire crown that does count as an accessory. Oh boy. What a fashion disaster. The river Temarc, in winter. How do I rule here? Murdoch has red knee pads to break the monotony, Alexandrov a red bandana on his arm. It's as even as it gets, so I'll call it a draw.

The stipulation has barbed wire boards, lighttube crosses, chairs, a fork board, loose barbed wire, a cardboard box of unknown contents, and an off-white block. Maybe there's dried ice in it?

Murdoch opens by betraying Alexandrov after a handshake and sending him through the first lighttube cross right away. A bundle gets smashed on Alexandrov, followed by some carving with the remains. Murdoch finds a gusset plate and hammers it in Alexandrov's arm. Alexandrov counters and dropkicks Murdoch into the barbed wire corner, follows up with a basement lariat, then opens the box (that indeed contains ice) and sticks Murdoch's head and hand in it. Being the nitpicker I am, I notice that – unlike in many dry ice matches – neither of them wears gloves. Respect for respecting the stipulation.

Now on the outside, Alexandrov attacks with a barbed wire crutch, then hammers a gusset plate into Murdoch's head. Murdoch suplexes him onto the crutch somewhere in the back of the building, then takes the action back to the ring. Well, near it. Alexandrov also gets a taste of the dry ice, although it was hard to see what body part went into the box due to the camera angle.

While Murdoch mocks the crowd, Alexandrov powers up and gains back the advantage with a flurry of punches. He puts Murdoch on a chair, then removes him from it with a running knee strike. The focus now shifts to the fork board. Murdoch signals a Deep South Destroyer on the apron, but Alexandrov fights out of it, and after a back and forth, Alexandrov Death Valley Drives Murdoch onto the forks for a first two count.

Alexandrov goes face first through a lighttube cross in the corner with a double knee strike to the back, and Murdoch gets a close two count after that. Murdoch empties the mystery box – bottle caps – and the dry ice box in the center of the ring. Can dry ice melt? I never thought about that. Anyway, Murdoch puts Alexandrov on the top rope, tosses a chair against his head, then superplexes him into the bottle cap dry ice mish mash, but again only gets a two count. Not missing a beat, Murdoch takes him in a submission, but Alexandrov gets out of it rather quickly. (Why the hell does autocorrect suggest 'Alexandrob' every time I type Alexandrov? I know there's a b/v swap in Slavic languages, but my system is set to English. STAHP EET.)

Murdoch gets thrown through a lighttube cross in the corner, Alexandrov climbs the top rope and gets a two count after an elbow drop. Then another after an Emerald Flowsion onto the barbed wire board that has gone ignored until now. Alexandrov sets up a chair and stacks it with dry ice and bottle caps.

Now I had to look it up. "Unlike regular ice, dry ice doesn't melt into a liquid as it warms up. Instead, it converts directly back into its gaseous form in a process known as sublimation." Curiosity satisfied, back to the match. An exchange of forearms and elbows ends with Murdoch getting a three count after a Brainbuster onto the chair.

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Match 3 - Doors Of Death/Snap Crackle Pop Deathmatch - Dysfunction vs. Dr. Redacted

Dysfunction displays roughly the same fashion sense as the previous match, wearing all black, but I believe those are shorts (that just blend into knee pads to look longer) and a jersey technically counts as sportswear. So while this is still a terrible outfit, it is slightly better than Murdoch and Alexandrov. I don't think it's going to get him anywhere though because his opponent occupies the upper echelons of deathmatch fashion.

Dr. Redacted wears his blue scrubs and sneakers which does not detract from the overall rating in his case. It falls under 'gimmick accuracy/attention to detail'. Medical professionals wear sneakers. Dr. Redacted is clearly a real medical professional, and he's clearly on the job, so why would he wear anything other than work clothes? Easy victory, and he's also the one to beat in Best Dressed at this point.

The stipulation, as I so thoughtfully copypasted from the IWTV card, involves boards with various weapons – I see barbed wire and possibly knives or gussets – but the doctor also brought his own instruments, a box of lighttubes. Which Dysfunction gets thrown and smashed to the face right away. Redacted follows up with a Cannonball and Dysfunction flees to the outside where he gets floored by a thrown chair.

The action remains on the outside and Redacted remains firmly in charge. While having a foot on Dysfunction's throat, he gets a microphone to mock him. Mirab, his sails unfurled. Dysfunction ends up being placed on a chair and removed from it with a running Cannonball from Redacted who now gets one of the eponymous doors involved by suplexing it onto his opponent. The door gets set up between chairs, then Redacted goes through it and suddenly Dysfunction is alive.

POV: You are inhaling laughing gas and trust that your appendectomy will go well.

He hits Redacted with a chair, then returns him to the ring and arms himself with some lighttubes. After smashing them, it's time for some carving, and now Dysfunction has the mic. I understand that he called Redacted a 'quack' and I will not stand for such slander. Yeah, no wonder the gusset plate doesn't stick when Dysfunction tries to stick it in Redacted's forehead. Clearly, he's not a trained professional and has no grasp on the intricacies of using surgical equipment.

More like Malfunction, amirite?

Dysfunction sets up chairs, smashes the remaining tubes on Redacted, then completes the construction with two barbed wire boards. Once he climbs the top rope, Redacted gets up and puts Dysfunction through them, then follows up with a Frog Splash from the top rope. Dysfunction's son shows up to prevent a three count, somehow, because he stays out of the ring to get attacked by Bobby V. According to commentary, there's a family feud behind this. Meanwhile, Redacted puts a plastic bag over Dysfunction's head and chokes him into submission. He also improved his outfit with good battle damage. Dysfunction gets the mic again to rave and ramble. At least he properly addresses Redacted with his very real title.

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What is this? Promo video for the next match is my guess. There's Sweet Caroline and there's Bobby V, so I assume there's a feud between him and Neil Diamond Cutter. Dr. Redacted also appears to be involved. The video ends on a 'Non-Title Officially Tournament Sanctioned' screen. So... they are feuding, but is the title on the line or not?

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Match 4 - The Block Is Hot Deathmatch - Neil Diamond Cutter vs. Bobby V (C)

Commentary fills me in. Originally, this was a non-tournament title match for the WLW Pure Heart title, but due to card changes, it now is a tournament match and the title is on the line.

Although Cutter's outfit looks like he found most of it scattered in trailer park front yards, it's not doing too bad in regards to colors. Tan shorts, proper boots, pulled down black singlet for decent exposure, and plenty of random accessories.

Bobby V, one of the stronger dressers, wears black-white – which includes long pants and a black shirt – but I'm a sucker for asymmetry, especially kickpads, so he's getting quite a few style points for that. Cutter has a clear advantage in exposure and overall lighter colors though, so I'm surprising myself in this duel by naming him the winner.

The match starts with V evading the riot shield and me barely having time to take inventory of the stipulation. I've seen a cinderblock in a corner. Based on the title, I'll assume there'll also be some form of fire.

Cutter bodyslams V onto the lighttube shield, then gets his staple gun and a dollar which he staples to V's tongue. While Cutter plays around with another bill, V counters with a Snapmare, then staples the bill to Cutter's nether regions.

After briefly considering a bat, V follows up with a dropkick, then gets more staples from Cutter who proceeds to empty a box of big legos, then claims the bat for himself. A Brainbuster sends V into the toy blocks. Cutter sets up a chair sideways and slams V onto it. A jar of small legos turns up and gets emptied, but Cutter seems more interested in the cinderblocks, two of which get smashed between V's legs. Is this a POR match? Did I miss something?

Cutter gets a first two count, then removes gusset plates from another cinderblock, but gets hit by a chair before he can use the newly freed weapon. Now V claims the gusset plate and he has better luck with it, hammering it successfully into Cutter's forehead. Take lessons, Malfunction. V also gets a gusset into his head with a headbutt. Cutter builds a mini contraption of two chairs and takes V to the top rope, but ends up getting thrown onto the upside-down chair himself, yet kicks out of the following cover.

Architecture rating for NDC: Solid C. Not overly complex, but it requires good balance.

Now it's V's turn to build something. He places a chair on a cinderblock. I'm not sure that even counts as a construction. Cutter sticks skewers in V's head, then floors him with a chair shot, Death Valley Drives him onto the cinderblock, and gets a three count.

Architecture rating for Bobby V: Come on, you're not even trying!

Commentary corrects the earlier statement and says the title was not on the line, meaning Bobby V is still WLW Pure Heart champion, but Cutter advances. I don't like that kind of booking, but I'm also a massive hypocrite because I do that when I play TEW all the time.

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Match 5 - Pins and Needles Deathmatch - Lil Sicko vs. Chuck Stein

In the most interesting fashion duel tonight, Lil Sicko surprises with a black and white theme instead of his stand-out Carnage Cup showing in all white. He's still firmly on top of the Best Dressed Mt. Olympus and I do take massive offense at commentary saying 'I saw Lil Sicko getting changed in the dumpster out back'. What a laughable statement about the undefeated and borderline untouchable Best Dressed champion. In protest, I will analyze the outfits in excruciating detail - at least 500 words - before I get to the match. Direct your complaints about this tangent to PeaPod.

Here we go. Sicko's outfit. Strong, immediately recognizable gimmick? Check. Lots of white? Check. Wrestling/sportswear? Check. High skin exposure? Check. Exceptional attention to detail? Check. Lil Sicko is one of the very few people who score high in every single category, and he has a very clear advantage over anyone except his own tag team partner Skitzo (whose outfit isn't too different, and who didn't beat Sicko in the end either). Even in his choice to add black, he did it in the best possible way by keeping white the dominant color while also emphasizing the asymmetry (commonly found in jester outfits and thereby adding to the 'attention to detail' rating).

Come on, show yourself, PeaPod! Let me see what YOU are wearing if you want to mouth off about Sicko and dumpsters! I bet you're wearing a black shirt and tattered jeans shorts. Philistine.

Chuck Stein nails the 'gimmick clarity' category as usual. In wrestling school, people are taught that a gimmick needs to be explainable in one to two sentences, and fans need to understand what it is in the time it takes to go from the curtain to the ring. Legions of people, including many big names and favorites of mine, fail horribly at this. Not Chuck Stein. White shirt, black jeans, black leather jacket – not a shred of wrestling attire, but he's excused due to the exceptionally obvious and authentic gimmick.

What makes this duel even more interesting than I expected is the fact that Sicko wears a black shirt – representing our shared home, IWA-DS – and only removed the tailcoat so far. This reduces his usual stellar exposure and color game slightly. If there was ever an opening to deal the first loss to him, this is it. Well, was. As soon as Stein reaches the ring, Sicko's shirt leaves it.

Mythical warrior king Lil Sicko identifies an approaching threat and acts accordingly.

There's the bell, so I'll tally things up to explain how fashion judgement works to PeaPod. What is the goal? We want to see blood. This is why we favor exposed skin and light colors. Sicko has both, being shirtless and wearing asymmetric tight-trunks, with the long leg being the white one. Stein has the same colors, but is far more covered up due to wearing a t-shirt and long jeans. Gimmick clarity. Does a random person on the street recognize what this person is supposed to be? A resounding 'yes' for both is the answer. The final big question to ask is 'which of them looks more like a pro wrestler', and that's Sicko's second huge advantage. Unlike Stein, he has a theme that allows better incorporation of sports attire.

Helpful info chart.

Far-fetched as it may sound (and because I'm hellbound to reach the 500 words I promised), this has two reasons. First, Doink the Clown. He was a fairly prominent guy during the 90s. The 'random person on the street' who may only be vaguely familiar with wrestling is more likely to make a connection between wrestling + clown than wrestling + punk. Yes, the Nasty Boys existed, but they were some weird mix of punk and biker and would get a worse score for gimmick clarity than Stein due to that. Second, in the imaginary Family Feud 'ask 100 people to guess this guy's occupation', I think Stein would mainly get 'unemployed' – that's just the expectation for punks – while Sicko would get a less unanimous mix of things like 'clown', 'circus performer', 'sideshow freak' and probably some 'pro wrestler' mentions due to the Doink association. Most of the likely answers are performance and/or athletics-related which gives Sicko an overall much better 'pro wrestler look' rating than Stein.

I will say that Stein has the better mohawk. Also that I'm kinda giddy about the rare opportunity to compare hairstyles which usually doesn't go into my judgement. In this case, it's clearly part of the overall outfit and thereby fair game.

That should be about 500, 550 words. Again, you can thank PeaPod and his flippant dismissal of the god king of deathmatch fashion for this. The devil made me do it.

A Clash of Kings, Barnes & Nobles limited edition cover

With that out of the way, they are actually going to fight, too. Stein has his barbed wire baseball bat (accessory because it's his property and trademark), Sicko has a barbed wire tennis racket (not accessory; his weapon-filled trash can would be my first thought for a trademark). It all begins with Stein slapping Sicko after a shouting duel, then both drop their weapons and Stein returns with... what is this, a handful of syringes? Doesn't quite matter for the moment because Sicko beats him down and introduces gusset plates to Stein's head.

Which reminds me that I haven't said anything about the stipulation, but I guess 'pins and needles' explains itself. Sicko takes Stein's baseball bat to his back and face. There's a skewer board, toothpick bat, chairs, a door with... something. Stein turns the tide with chops, then reaches a gusset plate and headbutts it into Sicko's forehead. A chop duel ensues and Sicko gets floored, displaying his exceptional ragdoll physics early on.

The action moves to the outside where Stein blocks what I suspect was meant to become a Tiger Driver and reverses it into a suplex. Commentary mentions needle boards and bats, but I don't trust commentary anymore. Not after that grave affront. Sicko gets the skewer board over his back, then Stein takes a cheesegrater to his head before reaching for his barbed wire bat to carve Sicko.

As Sicko throws Stein against the ring post, I must comment on the visuals again. This match looks in every way what a deathmatch should look like. It is just so much more pleasing to have this level of character work and the showmanship that comes with it than two random guys in t-shirts and tattered jeans. Which is what PeaPod is proudly wearing, I assume.

Back to the match. Sicko has indeed found a needle board and arranged it between chairs outside the ring. With the camera angle, I can't tell if he successfully pushed Stein's face onto it though. Now Sicko has a mini barbed wire bat, and shortly after, he does smash the needle board on Stein's back.

Armed with a chair, Sicko wards off a baseball bat attack and takes Stein around the ring to a new board. Commentary can't see – probably too distracted admiring his own ripped jeans shorts – so it's up to me to narrate this. Sicko's face gets pushed against a board, and going by the match's name and Stein's involvement, my best guess is that it has syringe tips.

Stein uses it to floor Sicko's ringmaster Sadisto, then gets attacked from behind with a chair. Sicko maneuvers Stein back into the ring and follows him with a springboard clotheline for a first cover attempt. When Stein kicks out, Sicko places him over a chair, but his attack is averted. Stein catches him in mid-air and slams onto the chair. Again, Sicko's ragdoll physics are unrivaled.

Not content with impressive selling alone, Sicko also shows off his agility with a fast-paced sequence that ends with a German Suplex and a two count. Sicko hits a Moonsault, again Stein kicks out, and Sicko arranges a porcupine quill board in a corner. Stein counters the whip attempt though, traps Sicko in the opposite corner for a baseball bat strike and a Backbreaker after which Stein gets a two count.

Now the syringes come out. Stein sticks two through Sicko's mouth without much fumbling, then takes the barbed wire bat to his forehead, paired with an armbar submission. He lets go though and I'm pleased to hear that Not-PeaPod on commentary acknowledges Dr. Redacted as the real doctor he is.

Both are down, then a struggle against the porcupine quill board ensues, and Sicko finally goes into it. With quills in his back, he catches Stein off guard with his signature Spanish Fly, then pins Stein's hands to the canvas with syringes and gets a three count with the cockiest pin known to man.

O̶n͘e͠ m͞òm͠e̢n͘t̴ o̷f͢ p͘e͢r̷f͘e͏c̀t̡ b̵e͡a͠u͠t̸y̢.͟

My ginger prince shows up with a microphone and calls Sicko back to the ring, then praises Chuck Stein and says Sicko impressed him, something something, they'll meet in the next round. Temba, his arms open. Stein and Sicko shake hands, Sicko is very nonchalant about Murdoch's challenge.

K͜n̨e͏e̸l͞ ́b͘e̛f̛o̴r̀e̡ ̡t̨ḩe͞ ҉n̢e͡w͏ ̛g͢ơd̷,͘ ̕m͠o̡r͟t͠a҉l̵!͟

Cautious prediction for 2025: If this is how Lil Sicko starts the tournament season, he'll give himself the toughest competition in the race for the deathmatch of the year.

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What is this? Another promo video to herald the arrival of Remington Rhor. Oh, no, it's his actual entrance. There's just a video playing over the announcement.

Match 6 - Ultraviolent Baptism Deathmatch - Remington Rhor vs. Michael Krueger

What do we have? Technicalities. Technically, Rhor made a good choice by not wearing all black. But the color he chose is awfully close to the dreaded mustard-yellow and that is something I can't really condone. Yellow is difficult, more so on white guys, because it just doesn't lend itself to good contrast. However, I respect the dedication to this awful color. Matching belt and kick pads, yellow wrist tape, plus good exposure due to shorts and being shirtless, and mask and machete count as accessories in case I need a tie breaker.

And it might come down to accessories in the end. Michael Krueger has plenty – mask, chain, coat, bodypaint – but certainly won't win any prizes on color: all black. Where Krueger also has an advantage is the sportswear category. Rhor wears jeans shorts, Krueger has a singlet and pleather. Ultimately, I think I'll give the victory to Rhor though for far better exposure.

While Michael Krueger makes sweet love to the ring mat, his manager/scythe holder speaks through a mic. I don't understand a word. You and me, here, at El-Adrel.

Rhor helpfully demonstrates how to stand upright, and once Krueger followed the tutorial, the match begins with chain wrestling. The stipulation involves various cross-shaped weapons; lighttube-crosses, wooden crosses with gussets, and there are also several non-cross-shaped cinderblocks. After a suplex, Krueger tries a first cover which unsurprisingly doesn't go anywhere. A standing slugfest ensues, then a throwing-each-other-in-corners duel follows.

While there are big moves, I can't help thinking that they don't click very well. The timing doesn't look quite right, but it's early, so maybe they just need to warm up to each other.

Krueger's manager comes up the apron with a super soaker for some reason. Rhor disarms him, hits him with the weapon, then wanders around. He finally goes for his machete and carves Krueger's arm because his head is all covered. A part of me begins to wish it was Krueger's nemesis JD Horror instead of him in this match. JD isn't as uncoordinated and sluggish (and boy, what a fashion face off it would be with him in the running).

Krueger leans a gusset cross against a chair, then gets suplexed through it for a two count. Rhor places a lighttube cross over Krueger, then climbs the ropes with a chair, but gets cut off before anything comes of it, and Krueger sends him back to the ground with a Sitout Powerbomb.

Now he gets his scythe and tries to decapitate Rhor, then scratches him, kind of, all over. Yeah, I definitely wish this was JD Horror. Or anyone else with a semblance of coordination.

Krueger places various cinderblocks in the ring's center, plus a lighttube cross, which he then just smashes. Rhor STOs Krueger onto the cinderblocks and mercifully gets a three count. Poor man. He could have had a far better match with literally every other entrant in this tournament, and yet this is what he got.

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INTERMISSION, RECAP

Regular readers have been waiting in breathless anticipation for this since the first match: Why was there a threeway in a round that otherwise consisted of singles matches? Nothing was said to this end, but I do see a kayfabe reason that justifies it. According to commentary, both Jasons are deathmatch rookies. Them working together against the more seasoned Hoodfoot translated that background to the ring, and Hoodfoot winning with relative ease brought it to a logical conclusion. One bloody beginner would not have offered a proper challenge to him. The alternative would have been a short, easy squash match against one opponent, and I dislike that far more than threeways. So this may be a first, but I'm giving the uneven structure a pass.

The next four matches ranged from decent (Redacted provided most of the good scenes against Dysfunction and could have had the same match with anyone else) to good (Murdoch vs. Alexandrov, Cutter vs. Bobby V) to great/current MOTN pick (Sicko vs. Stein).

Round 2 looks more than promising. The already mentioned Sicko vs. Murdoch face-off especially has the potential to become the MOTN, not only ability-wise, but also with a strong old vs. new setup. I'm also hoping for Rhor vs. Redacted. Both were held back by sluggish opponents in round 1, so there'd be a narrative bond through this shared hardship. Oh wait. What is that? The card I copied from IWTV only lists two semi finals. Will these be threeways? Murdoch's challenge sounded like it would be a one on one against Sicko, but then, maybe Darmok and Jalad will get company at Tanagra. I guess I have to wait and see.

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NON-TOURNAMENT MATCH

WLW Scramble Gauntlet Of Death: Ricky Medeiros. vs Anakin Murphy vs. Yanni Giannos vs. Breyer Wellington vs. ???

The ??? mystery is immediately solved because Jay Fowler is the first entrant. Once again, I'm confronted with the complications of judging outfits in a gauntlet. I think I'll try the approach from Carnage Cup 10 again and look for an overall winner within this match.

Jay Fowler wears a leather vest to black spandex tights with neon-green, blue, and orange details, matching arm/wrist gear and oh my, asymmetric kickpads! I'm liking that trend in WLW. You'd think it would lose its appeal after a while, but no.

The ??? is the gift that keeps giving. Another entrant not listed on IWTV enters next. Leon King wears a yellow coat with blue glitter and high collar, but casts it off right away to reveal what is probably best described as a blue gymnastics or show dance outfit from the 1980s. (I'll save up the tangent about competitive dancing being my second-favorite thing to watch, and all its similarities to wrestling, for another review.) After such a good, visually distinct start, I'm disappointed to see sneakers – red-white-blue, not a great match to the colors. For that reason, Jay Fowler is the one to beat in this gauntlet. Which may actually be a deathmatch, after all, because there are lighttubes, chairs, and a water jug in the ring. King moves all the weapons away though, so who knows.

Commentary calls King's outfit 'very 90s'. K̐͏͖i̛͎̍d̫̑͞d͔ͤ͜ǫ͈̃. Have you been around in the 90s? We didn't do the disco glitz thing. The 90s were the decade of grunge. The implied tiny gym shorts alone make this 80s, maybe late 70s even. In show dance, nobody would bat an eye today either, although there'd probably be some complaints about the lack of tassels. Actually, with tassels, this would be a perfectly fine Latin outfit. Salsa, samba, that general direction. Colors and glitter are on point for flamenco, too, but the legs would need to resemble an exploding flower bed more. So much for restraint regarding ramblings about competitive dancing. My point is, this outfit has good potential – it's as flamboyant as you want to make it, and King clearly wants it to be very flamboyant. Swap the sneakers for something more on-theme, match the colors, maybe throw in some golden Ultimate Warrior-style tassels, and this is a winner in future Best Dressed rankings.

No, really. These shoes NEED to go.

The showmanship is on point from the start. Whether this turns out to be a deathmatch or not, I will watch it. After a shoving duel, Fowler is firmly in charge and beats King up in every corner. Commentary agrees with my preference for Fowler's outfit, but I can't resist to point out that Larry Legend brought it up first. You wouldn't expect it from a man who wears a duster coat indoors, but he has a better eye for fashion than PeaPod.

Meanwhile, in the ring it turns out that King, too, can wrestle. No weapons involved yet, but the tides have turned – until Fowler gets a first two count after a powerslam.

King leaves the ring to retrieve a previously hidden chair, which Fowler immediately brings into his possession. Upon returning to the ring, King gets floored with a chair shot, then set up on the chair, gets a shotgun dropkick, and is eliminated.

Ricky Medeiros is the next entrant, and I'm pleased to see that the line-up of this gauntlet takes fashion seriously. Medeiros ditches the black shirt right away which leaves him with green-red spandex tights and kick pads, not asymmetric. 100 % wrestling attire on both opponents. That's not something I see every day. I'm sticking with Fowler though.

Medeiros starts furiously, sends Fowler outside, follows with a tope suicida. Fowler takes the action first to the apron, then back into the ring, and floors Medeiros with a Destroyer. The leg being on the rope prevents a three count – considering the deathmatch-in-name nature of the gauntlet, that's slightly confusing. Either way, Medeiros eliminates Fowler after a Moonsault.

Noah Clover, wearing a white open shirt (which is promptly removed; I like the spirit) and long black jeans, but at least matching belt and proper footwear, brings the wrestling attire ratio down. Fowler, although eliminated, remains on the podium. The action remains good, but Clover really needs to do something about his attire. After a Cutter, Medeiros gets a fairly quick three count.

Anakin Murphy wears a black crop top to black jeans shorts and fishnets and proper footwear, and he has a blue baseball bat with something, possibly gussets, taped to it. Outfit-wise, this isn't great. No sportswear, all black, but at least a hint of a theme. The problem with that is: Leon King already preemptively out-genderbent Murphy and had better colors. The preliminary trophy remains with Fowler.

Medeiros tries to end it quickly again, but Murphy kicks out after the Cutter. Otherwise, it remains a fast-paced fun match, even though the weapon count is still limited to '1 chair'. After a superplex from Medeiros, Murphy flips them around and gets a surprise pinfall.

The next entrant is... what was it? Tully Bertorelli. He wears a leather vest to black trunks, red knee pads, proper boots, and he carries a cardboard sign that says 'Deathmatch is for virgins'. Decent biker-style look, but I think this is a comedy gimmick. He obtains a microphone and from what I understand, he wants to be on TV in California. While Captain Picard speaks of El-Adrel, Murphy retrieves his blue baseball bat. According to commentary, Bertorelli actually talks about Garfield which makes about as much sense as my guess.

He finally deigns to enter the ring. The fashion ranking is still Fowler #1, Medeiros #2. Murphy floors Bertorelli with his bat, and after a superkick, he gets a very quick three count.

Oh how dare you, next entrant? 'Rock me Amadeus' as entrance theme, and you're wearing a black shirt to white jeans shorts? What a travesty. I hate this guy. Come back when you have a baroque costume and a powdered wig! Yanni Gianos. Ok then, I hate Yanni Gianos for being so aggressively disappointing. I don't know if his name is spelled Gianos (on-screen graphic) or Giannos (IWTV card), nor do I care. Not even his name is Austrian! Why in the world would you pick this theme music?! This is truly baffling. The 2025 version of Freakshow looking nothing like a freakshow performer.

Yes, Anakin! Hit him more with the water jug over his offensively wig-less head! Oh, lighttube! That's even better! Beat some fashion – or at least common – sense into him! Now it does turn into a deathmatch. After flooring Not!Amadeus with a neckbreaker, Murphy sticks a gusset plate into the wig-less head, then sets up chairs. Unfortunately, he misses and gets eliminated after a top rope cutter. I need a new champion.

Will Breyer Wellington step up to the task? Not in regards to his outfit... Wait. Is that a black velvet tailcoat with golden lapels and cuffs? It is. My god, it is. Black shirt, not ideal. Black tights, eh, at least it's wrestling attire. Proper footwear. But the coat. The coat, man. That is something I would accept for Amadeus. Wellington leaves the coat by the entrance and wears a black button-down over his black shirt now. Again, not ideal. No competition for Fowler or Medeiros. But man, now the Amadeus thing bothers me even more. There was an appropriate piece of clothing in the building all along, and Gian(n)os chose NOT to wear it. I don't care that Wellington owns it. Gian(n)os could have fought him for it. It could have been a Velvet Tailcoat on a Pole match. Ḿ̞â͚y̯̋b̘̿e͇̽ G͉̉i͎͗a͈̅n͉͌(̫̌ṇ̃)͎̽ö̳́s͕ͯ j̣̾ú̩s͚͆t̻̒ d̬ͬŏ̭e͈̓͛ͅs̊ͅṋ͑'̩ͤt͙̎ d̥̓e͍̋ṡ̰e̠͌r͍̎v̼̂ẽ͇ t͖ͭh̳ͩe̖͒ c̮̍ó̱ả̗t͎͐.̭͋

Anyway, Wellington picks up where Murphy left off and proceeds to punish Gian(n)os for his reckless theme choice. It doesn't last though, but thankfully, Wellington kicks out after a neckbreaker and then eliminates Gian(n)os. Apparently, he was the last entrant and is declared the winner. I can live with that. Fowler remains Best Dressed in this gauntlet. I demand the velvet tailcoat to be given to him as a trophy.

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Promo video. It's the deathmatch virgin again. This time, I understand him. He's really angry at Anakin Murphy and wants to fight him in a pinfalls/submissions only match. Ok. I don't mind that.

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A wild bracket graphic appears and informs me that the IWTV card is incorrect. There will be three semi finals singles matches, and I will not get my wish, Redacted vs. Rhor. It's Sicko vs. Murdoch at Tanagra, Redacted vs. Cutter, Rhor vs. Hoodfoot.

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SEMI FINALS

Match 1 - Pane/Pain in the Glass – John Wayne Murdoch vs. Lil Sicko

No outfit change for Murdoch, no visible battle damage either. I feel bad for my ginger prince because seeing who is up against, he'll suffer the most crushing defeat of his career in a few seconds. H̭ͪḯ̞ș̌ s͈̾u̳͑f̦ͮf̲̎ẹͮr͉͑ǐ͖n̹͒g̙ͫ w͕ͮi̟ͭḷ͒l͎̒ b̭ͮe̗̔ l̹ͫe̩ͯg̲͂e̝͗n͓̆ḏͣă̪r̘̾y̳͛ ĕ̟v̭̽e͇̓n̦ͪ ị͛n̪̊ H͇ͯe̖̓l̟͂l͓̊.̲ͨ

His Highness left the tailcoat backstage, and thanks to his unerring choice of white, he does have visible blood on him, although admittedly not a lot. Since PeaPod keeps his filthy mouth shut about Sicko's outfit, you, the reader, will be spared from another drawn-out tangent.

In the ring, we have panes of glass, loose tubes, and a stack of chairs.

Sicko storms at Murdoch as soon as the bell rings and floors him with a Blockbuster right away. A basement hurracanrana yields a very early two count, likely because Murdoch is distracted by the sum of his bad fashion choices flashing before his eyes in the face of such superiority. Sicko sets up a glass pane, but goes through it himself with a Northern Lights suplex.

Murdoch, already bleeding somehow, leaves the ring. No, hiding won't make me forget what he's wearing. I'm also not quite sure what he was doing because the camera panned away. He returns to the ring to smash a lighttube on Sicko, then takes him to the apron above the pane of glass he prepared.

Sicko evades the pane when he goes out of the ring, but is powerbombed through it anyway. Murdoch returns to the scene with a lighttube, smashes it, carves Sicko's back, then rolls him back into the ring where Sicko gets a handful of tubes to the face and kicks out of a cocky cover. It's frankly a bit weird to see Murdoch heel it up after living in the year 2015 for so long in my reviews.

After Sicko missed a Standing Star Press, Murdoch gets him into a Koji Clutch, but lets go and instead puts a pane of glass on the bottom rope. Sicko counters and puts Murdoch through it with a twisting neckbreaker, but only gets a two out of the cover.

A lighttube smash duel on knees ensues, which yields a two count for Murdoch. He sets up chairs, Sicko tries to steal one, but is shoved off and Murdoch finishes his construction. With 4 chairs waiting, he signals for a Deep South Destroyer and hits it from the top rope, only for Sicko to kick out again.

Sicko comes back to life with a kneeling Death Valley Driver, followed by a Running Star Press (commentary refers to all of them as 'shooting', but personally, I think that modifier refers to the elevation/top rope). He places a pane of glass on Murdoch and goes to the top rope, hits a Moonsault, but the glass only breaks after Sicko smashes it with a chair before getting a two count.

Now it's Sicko's turn to smash tubes. Murdoch challenges him to continue, then Sicko sets up chairs for a slugfest. It continues with both on their feet, still trading punches, until Murdoch ends it with a Brainbuster onto the chair. Another Brainbuster, then Murdoch gets a three count.

Heel or not, Murdoch does the right thing: a knee fall before the god of deathmatch fashion, then he leaves the ring to let Sicko bask in the adoration of his subjects.

Y͓ͦe̤ͩs̼ͩ.̘̎.̺̇.̹ͬ T̰̽e̱͂m̦̀b̙́a̹ͭ,̬̉ ã͉t̺ͧ r̮̚êͅs̥͑t̤̂.̞̉

Sicko gets a microphone from a man in an especially gaudy t-shirt. He shouts at Murdoch that he dreamed of this match since Carnage Cup 8, then challenges him to a re-match. I’m here for it, Your Majesty.

Regular readers know how terribly biased I am toward Murdoch, and that I will always pick him over Tremont as 'best deathmatch wrestler currently active'. I've also said several times that Lil Sicko is this generation's unicorn, the total package standout that Sick Nick Mondo was 20 years prior. He's been up against the 'redneck IWA-DS trash' dismissal since he first set foot in a ring, but I'm pretty sure these two matches mark the moment the world realized that he's more than mudshow. So I won't call him the second coming of Nick Mondo anymore. I'm calling him the Damocles' Sword above Murdoch's head from now on.

Lil Sicko being adored by Necro Butcher, John Wayne Murdoch, Carlos Colon, ca. 2001, colorized

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Match 2 - ? the fuck Deathmatch – Neil Diamond Cutter vs. Dr. Redacted

Cutter has pretty good battle damage, still tan shorts, proper boots, pulled down singlet, and the shield, now without lighttubes. Naturally, there's no touching the god king, but this is one of Cutter's stronger Best Dressed showings.

Dr. Redacted once more shows the advantages of not wearing black with good battle damage on both face and attire. This is a surprisingly tough call. Cutter has the exposure advantage and a slight edge with wrestling attire, Redacted has the gimmick clarity, but is about even with Cutter in regards to color. I think that sums it up to a victory for the Honey Badger. Certainly didn't see that one coming.

For the stipulation, we have at least one Tokyo tower, barbed wire boards, loose tubes.

Cutter charges at Redacted with his shield, only for him to evade, resulting in Cutter crashing through the Tokyo tower. Redacted uses his advantage for a suplex, running knee strike, and first cover attempt. After setting up a board, Cutter turns the tide and sends Redacted through it, then suplexes him onto the riot shield, and also uses it for a senton.

Action heroes casually walk away from explosions without turning around.

Cutter adds chairs to the arsenal, sets one up sideways, slams Redacted onto it, then a lighttube and headbutt duel ensues. After a Russian Leg Sweep from Cutter, Redacted retreats to a corner, then wakes up, chops Cutter, and follows up with a Cannonball. Before he can hit the second one, Cutter rushes at him with a splash, then brainbusters Redacted and shows a lighttube-enhanced senton.

Again, chairs get set up sideways by Cutter. Redacted puts him onto the construction with a Saito Suplex, then Cutter immediately pays him back with the same.

After a Russian Leg Sweep, Redacted takes things to the mat with a submission, but lets go when Cutter reaches a lighttube and hits him over the head. Redacted's advantage doesn't last long after that; Cutter suplexes him onto the chairs again, then misses a springboard moonsault and ends up getting Death Valley Driven into a two count. Cutter gets another after a rolling Death Valley Driver onto the barbed wire board. Redacted shows a Death Valley Driver of his own, then places the board on Cutter and goes to the top rope for a Frog Splash that gets him a three count.

Redacted, with improved outfit rating, gestures for a microphone and addresses Cutter who confirms that 2025 will be his last active year. Redacted offers a handshake which is accepted, then Cutter gets the mic and calls Redacted the future of deathmatch. This show is approaching Carnage Cup levels of wholesome. I like it.

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Match 3 – Home Improvement - Remington Rhor vs. Hoodfoot

Rhor left the mustard-yellow vest backstage and shows battle damage on forehead and back. Hoodfoot still wears the black shirt and long gray pants, so this is a quick and easy victory for Rhor. Man, Hoodfoot, what happened? He had such a strong showing back at Carnage Cup 12, going toe to toe with a strong dresser, Mosh Pit Mike. Oh well. Maybe he didn't bother because he knew nobody would stand a chance against Lil Sicko, but by that logic, everyone would show up in rags or riot gear wherever the clown wanders.

Anyway, the stipulation involves... boards. With something. Gussets? Knives? I guess we'll see. Also carpet strips, I presume.

The match opens with an exchange of punches, then both leave the ring and Hoodfoot begins to solve the mystery of the weapons by introducing carpet strips in various formats. He also brazenly steals Rhor's machete, but is disarmed and wrapped in the chain before he gets to use it. Rhor drags him into the chairs with the chain.

Back in the ring, Hoodfoot fights back with punches and chops, splashes Rhor in a corner, then floors him with a bulldog – and seizes the chain. No, he doesn't want the chain. Instead, Hoodfoot dives onto Rhor on the outside where the brawl continues with headbutts. Until Hoodfoot goes for lighttubes and carpet strips, then wanders off into the crowd and attacks Rhor with a cane.

Am I a fan of brawls in the crowd? Not really, but today we haven't had one, they are Hoodfoot's strength, and a giant lighttube log cabin appears to be in this, so this time, it strikes me as a good idea.

Rhor dives onto Hoodfoot and the log cabin from the stage, then both are down for a good while. Rhor is up first, then they slowly make their way toward the ring, but sit down for a slugfest before getting there. Until Hoodfoot had enough, just gets up and returns to the ring, and Rhor joins him. Hoodfoot pulls his own tooth? And sticks in Rhor's forehead? Ok then. Hoodfoot requests a cigarette and receives. What is going on here? Rhor, after helping him light it, puts it out on Hoodfoot's head. That's what I gather, at least. The camera was behind them.

Moving on to more visible weapons, Rhor sets up a board against a chair and gets Saito Suplexed through it for a two count. Hoodfoot, determined to solve all weapon mysteries, rearranges the board that neither I nor commentary could see, and reveals that there are pizza cutters on it, not knives as I suspected.

For now, he gets a Tiger Driver through a lighttube bundle though, and Rhor gets a two count as well. Now the pizza cutter board is his to use, but after a struggle, it's Hoodfoot who succeeds in suplexing Rhor through it. Hoodfoot's dive is cut short with a punch to the head, and now Rhor has his machete for some carving – and a machete-enhanced submission. Hoodfoot fights him off with the chain, then an exchange of punches and headbutts ensues and leaves both on the mat in the end. Rhor barely kicks out of a cover, and Hoodfoot is the first back on his feet to...

Ugh. He has a momentum killer, I mean, power drill. Thankfully, Rhor fights him off before it sees use, then ends up drilling Hoodfoot's head briefly himself anyway, before getting a three count after a sitout piledriver.

I don't think the cigarette and drill parts were necessary or added anything. Especially the former was hard to see and just didn't make sense, but at least not much time was wasted on either.

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OMG. Why is Larry Legend naked?! Where is the duster coat?! What happened?! Phew. He put the hat back on. It's still jarring that the coat is missing, but I'll take it.

Christ almighty! There are children watching!

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Death Wish Cup Tournament Final

John Wayne Murdoch vs. Dr. Redacted vs. Remington Rhor

Murdoch now shows battle damage, but that won't be enough against Dr. Redacted or Rhor. Redacted, with improved damage and by far the best colors and theme, is the frontrunner in this threeway, and unless Rhor found a sweater backstage, he'll be close behind with the best exposure. He does not wear a sweater, so the prediction for the ranking holds up.

I wish commentary would stop calling Michael Krueger a 'demon'. Unless we're talking about Belphegor, the demon associated with sloth, I don't see how it applies.

200 lighttubes, loose tubes, panes of glass, water jugs, barbed wire boards, various bats, all the things. I don't think it has a name beyond 'final'.

The match begins with Murdoch attacking Rhor during the introductions, then getting attacked by Redacted himself. They end up in a corner where Murdoch puts Redacted onto the top rope, but gets speared by the returning Rhor before anything comes of it. Redacted comes down with a Frog Splash, and a double pin by him and Rhor surprisingly eliminates Murdoch barely a minute into the match. Guess I got the one on one I wished for in the end!

Rhor and Redacted engage in an exchange of punches, then a Michinoku Driver floors Redacted. He gets slammed through a pane of glass for a first two count and rolls out of ring. Rhor follows, armed with a bat, then lighttubes. Redacted fights back with elbow strikes and gathers some tubes on the apron to smash Rhor's face into them. Chair shots follow, Rhor regained the advantage while the camera was on the opposite ringside and now slams Redacted onto a chair.

A barbed wire crutch gets used against Rhor, then he gets placed on a chair and Redacted cannonballs onto him from the apron. He rolls Rhor back into the ring, then disappears through the curtain to return with a Tokyo tower shortly after. Rhor gets cannoballed again in the corner, then Redacted sets up a pane of glass over him and smashes it with another Cannonball. The cover only yields a two. Redacted places a bundle of tubes on Rhor for a splash and another two count, and another.

Then Rhor has enough, picks Redacted up and floors him with a piledriver, also good for a two count only. Rhor finds cinderblocks among the plunder and places one near the doctor's head. He goes to the top rope with another, but Redacted gets up and turns the tide with a chair shot. Now his Tokyo tower comes into play when Redacted puts it on Rhor before a splash from the top rope gets him a three count.

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FINAL THOUGHTS

It's rare to see a debut tournament that shows little to no weaknesses. Death Wish Cup had a strong field with a good mix of established names and fresh faces, good weapon to wrestling balance all the way through, no bad/unwatchable matches, nothing I skipped (or wanted to skip and only sat through for the sake of reviewing), no audio or camera work issues, and in the end, there was a deserved winner. As a cherry on top, I had fun with Best Dressed due to several strong outfits – although the outcome was admittedly a foregone conclusion.

Oftentimes, it's easy to say which round was overall better, but here, the first round set a high standard and the second round stayed at that level – which speaks to the quality of the booking and the entrants. Most of the recent tournaments I watched shied away from letting the 'future of deathmatch' generation go all the way, and ultimately veterans walked away with the trophies. SHLAK at RCW King of the Kill 2 and SVN KOTDM, Knuckles at CZW's TOD and POR Hardcore Grand Prix, Matt Tremont at DMDU D.R.E.A.M 4, Tank at H2O's Tremont's Deathmatch Tournament, Murdoch at GCW's Tournament of Survival, Orin Veidt (yet again) at ICW's Insane 8 - the one noteworthy exception being Lil Sicko winning Carnage Cup 14. I'm really glad to see somebody is willing to bet on the new horses. (And credit to Murdoch for putting them over in such an overt fashion, too.)

What are my rankings? Oh boy. I'm used to complaining about slim pickings and it's the opposite here. Let me rip off that bandaid. MOTN, Sicko vs. Stein, followed very closely by Sicko vs. Murdoch (which I'd initially have named as my dream match out of the line-up, but I really liked the syringe use in the first round for once), followed by Murdoch vs. Alexandrov. Best Dressed, to absolutely nobody's surprise, was – and will be for the foreseeable future – god emperor Lil Sicko, followed by Dr. Redacted in a strong second place, and Chuck Stein in a strong third; honorable mention for Jay Fowler who was Best Dressed in the gauntlet. MVP, MVP. I think I'll let my Murdoch bias run wild after all, with the reasoning that technically, he had three matches. The two he actually wrestled were the MOTN and another that made the top 3, otherwise I chalk it up to him going above and beyond to put Sicko, Redacted, and Rhor over.

With that out of the way, do I have something to nitpick? Yes, of course. Where there is so much light, something has to cast a shadow. But frankly, it's all so minor that I can better frame it as a wishlist for the future:

Kris Kloss or Reed Bentley on commentary. Neither of them would ever make such vile remarks about the god emperor's new clothes. All kidding aside, commentary was fine. The only way to improve it would be by catering to my very narrow tastes. There are about five people I'm always thrilled to hear, as opposed to being indifferent (or highly annoyed in some cases, looking at you, Kevin Gill). Kloss and Bentley are two of them and would be my top picks (the others being Nathan Hamilton, Toby Klein, Nick Maniwa, in this order).

Swap the California boy for another. Krueger is just too sluggish. Nothing I've seen from him has really impressed me, and if his matches were fine, it was the doing of his opponents. Give me JD Horror or Judge Joe Dred. Those two big boys can move, and as a bonus, they don't try to fuck the ring during their entrance.

It amuses me a bit to refer to Murdoch as the 'wrong ginger' because it's usually me wanting him in the place of somebody else. This time around, it just so happens that (one half of) my ultimate dream match puts Shane Mercer in his place against Lil Sicko in an Ultraviolet Ultraviolence Electrified Blacklight Tubes match. I want Mercer to yeet Sicko with his fantastic ragdoll physics all across the venue, through a board/table that explodes in a cloud of purple and white. It would be the most beautiful thing to ever happen in/near a ring. So aesthetic that Kevin Blackwood would implode with envy, which is a sacrifice I'm willing to make.

Ultimately, these suggestions are along the lines of 'if Christmas and Halloween were on the same day, that could be improved by also making it my birthday'. In other words: Carry on, no further notes.

A̳̍L̲͂L̺͂ ͙̙̌̎H̖͇̒͋A͉̩̦͑͐ͥI͖͓̞͆ͣ͒L̫̣͉͛̇ͥ ̞̩͇̘̇̅͂́Ṫ̯̼̗̹ͫͯͭH̪̜͉̲͖̔ͥ̍̆̽Ẹ͚̰͙̻̓̔͆͑̃ ̟̼̱͎͎̋̂ͭ̃̚Ṉ̘̮̯̲͉̀͒̊̈ͧ͛Ē͓̹̩͇͓̝ͥ̔̿ͭ̚W͕̗͉̬͉͕̹ͮ̓͒ͫ͌̊̓ ̫͓̯̹͙͉̆ͭ́̉ͣ̏ͪͅG͇͙͇͍̲̣̬̓͊̌̅ͭͮ̅O̖͓̣̠͕͖̦̥ͭ̍̾̐͋͒̐̿D͎͖͖̲̹͈͍̯̾̒̐́̈́͑ͧ͂

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