RPW King of the Kill 2 (2024)

From Stockholm, with Love

A man in a tracksuit and sunglasses shouts into a microphone near an outdoors ring. I assume he's announcing the show, but it's hard to tell. I was almost right. It was an announcement for SHLAK, and thankfully, commentary has better sound quality.

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ROUND 1

Match 1 – SHLAK vs. Jeff King

Match 2 – Otis Cogar vs. Matt Tremont

Match 3 – Dr. Redacted vs. Lou Nixon

Match 4 – Judge Joe Dred vs. Casanova Valentine

Recap

Non-Tournament Match

ROUND 2

Non-Tournament Match

FINALS

Final Thoughts

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ROUND 1

Match 1 – SHLAK vs. Jeff King

SHLAK wears what SHLAK always wears: off-black shorts and proper boots that match his belt. It's nothing to write home about. It just works because it's paired with a good physique and things beyond my judgement (body art and hair style).

Jeff King also looks fairly unremarkable with a black singlet and black boots, but it's not just the higher wrestling attire ratio that gives him the win. It's also the exceptional attention to detail in his portrayal of a specific type of pro wrestler. Look, entrance, mannerisms, moves – it all says 'old school wrestler' and that stands out in a sea of people whose gimmicks come down to generic stuff like 'tough guy' or 'guy who wrestles'. Today, King misses the high score due to the color choice. Generally, he's a tough one to beat in the gimmick clarity category though.

So far, no stipulation has been announced and the only weapons in the ring are two chairs and a board. They start off with wrestling, and I begin to spot other weaponry in the corners, a thumbtack bat and something that might be a barbed wire crutch.

King rolls out of the ring and somehow, he's already bleeding. SHLAK follows for a single double axe handle, then returns to the ring. SHLAK stays in the ring saga, part II? Yes, please! His nemesis in my narrative, Casanova Valentine, is also on the card, so this could be interesting. Back in the ring, King finds a gusset plate and now the blood starts flowing on both. The most popular weapon remains a simple chair which is used by both with delightful brutality. Still, the wrestling/weapon balance remains good, and SHLAK scores a pinfall with a powerbomb onto a chair.

A short, but sweet and fairly bloody opener. The mood is set. If this continues, I'm in for a good time. As if Tracksuit had read my mind, he curbs my excitement by threatening me with 44OH involvement. It turns out to be Otis Cogar though, the least likely of the bunch to ruin a show with constant interferences.

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Match 2 – Otis Cogar vs. Matt Tremont

I can tell Otis Cogar has definitely never read my mind, or he aggressively ignores every bit of outfit advice for him that is in it. 100 % streetwear. Long black pants, white sneakers without kickpads, black jacket, but at least the t-shirt is white. Commentary says 'this one may not what they call pretty'. Rude. Otis Cogar may not like that particular word, but he's not what I'd call 'unpretty' either.

Matt Tremont, who went through great lengths to not be called 'pretty', is wearing all black except for a red bandana. The long black pants only count as sportswear if I'm very generous with the definition. This will be a tough one. I suspect both are wearing singlets under the shirts, but will either reveal it? That could be the deciding factor here. Nope, both shirts stay on. Rough. Really rough. I'll give the victory to Otis based entirely on the white shirt.

Not an ideal hardcam angle for weapon surveys.

Again, no stipulation. I assume all first round matches are FTBW since there's all sorts of stuff without a specific theme. They start off with a chair shot duel and quickly leave the ring where Tremont smashes the first light tube. An unlikely weapon – a trashcan lid – sees a lot of use, then light tube bundles are getting smashed. Thumbtack bats, thumbtack keyboard, the ever popular chair – wrestling-wise, there isn't much going on.

Back in the ring, both arm themselves with thumbtack bats. The duel ends with thumbtacks in both, then Otis pulls out not one, but two stupid straight razors and a drawn-out carving session in the ropes ensues. Yeah, that's not going to be my MOTN. Tremont finds a fork to continue the carving. I think a 44OH interference would be a really excellent idea right now. Maybe Atticus or Ryan would attack with a wrestling move, a concept entirely removed from this match by now.

Surprisingly, Otis turns things around by placing a pane of glass over Tremont and moonsaulting onto him. Commentary rightfully calls it 'picture-perfect', but it only yields a two count.

Cogar takes Tremont to the top rope, only to be attacked with a goddamn fork again. Tremont follows up with a splash through a light tube bundle, then keeps stabbing with the fork. What is this, the Abdullah The Butcher Memorial Match? Apparently so. Tremont seriously wins by ref stoppage.

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Promo: Judge Joe Dred tries to communicate something, but since Tremont's theme and noise from the ring blares over it, I don't know what. He's definitely right about whatever is though. I still have Stockholm Syndrome from TOD21, so Dred can do no wrong in my eyes. Tremont's theme stops. Dred has a destiny of some kind. Steven Jury agrees. I think they have it out for Tremont. Yeah, after that terrible, terrible match I just endured, I'm all for that.

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Promo: Dr. Redacted is easier to understand. He has no intentions of going to England. Okay then. Sucks to be England, I guess?

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Commentary celebrate their newfound bromance. That's adorable.

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Match 3 – RPW Rust Belt Deathmatch Championship Title Match - Dr. Redacted vs. Lou Nixon

The fashion frontrunner has arrived: Dr. Redacted wears light-blue scrubs, sneakers, a white labcoat, and carries a bomb which doesn't match his theme. Considering weapons that would be on-theme – syringes come to mind – I'm perfectly happy to overlook this mismatch.

Lou Nixon doesn't let Redacted rest on his laurels though. Red-white shorts, shirtless, black kickpads. Good look. Very good look.

This face off is a textbook example for my rating system. In a Family Feud test, Redacted would definitely get plenty of 'doctor/nurse/EMT' in the top answers, and Nixon would get a landslide for the 'which of them is a pro wrestler' version. Two extremes that get high scores in their respective categories. I must call it a tie because either of them could only be beaten by someone who is immediately recognizable as a pro wrestler and has a clear gimmick as well. Only very few people pull that off.

Best Dressed in Death reference chart

In the ring, we have doors, chairs, panes of glass, and the weapon collection from the previous match.
Nixon literally kicks the match off by throwing Redacted a bundle of tubes and kicking it. He proceeds to hammer a gusset plate into Redacted's head, and there's a pinfall attempt less than a minute in. The action moves outside and into the chairs and then into the cornfield in the background. Redacted somehow gained the upper hand, takes Nixon back toward the ring, and attacks with his bomb. He arms himself with cookie sheets and a light tube, then a light tube-reinforced trash can.

Honestly, I expected something different here. A little more wrestling, to be precise. The intensity is nice and appropriate for a title match though. The outside brawl continues, and Redacted delivers a rolling senton after sticking a gusset plate in Nixon's head. Nixon gets right up and attacks with a chair, and the popular trashcan lid makes a return.

Redacted gets a door involved and tries to senton Nixon through it. The senton succeeds, the door doesn't break though. And suddenly we're back in the ring and Nixon unleashes a suplex salvo. Now we're talking! He too fails to put Redacted through a (different, equally sturdy) door, twice. After a submission attempt from Nixon, and a reversal from Redacted, the latter tries his luck with the door again. It still won't break. Redacted throws the frustrating door out and instead uses light tubes and a cannonball.

I'm somewhat miffed that commentary just has to bring up Dr#ke Y#unger. I was about to make a note for the intermission that it is nice to watch a show without being bothered by er, let's say 'controversial' figures. It's 48 mins since I've seen the card, so I can't be sure – my attention span is Oh, look, a bird! after all – but I don't think there are any on it at least.

Back to the match. A shower door or milky glass pane takes the place of the door, and Redacted is the one to go through it. Nixon goes for a submission again, and again Redacted manages to escape. He tries a cover after a hanging neckbreaker, but also only gets a two. After placing light tubes on Nixon, Redacted gets another two count out of a splash from the top rope. Nixon doesn't give up his strategy, gets Redacted in a chokehold, and chokes him out in record time to retain his title.

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Brief intermission; commentary says we'll see a tag team match and a match for the Kamikaze championship later.

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Match 4 – Last Man Standing - Judge Joe Dred vs. Casanova Valentine

Dred wears black court robes. I suspect he wears his usual outfit underneath, but I'll have to wait and see. Casanova Valentine doesn't make me guess. As so often, he's in full gas station mode; all black, long jeans, trucker hat, biker boots. Unless Dred found something truly awful and unsuited to deathmatches to hide under the robe – say, a full suit of Darth Vader armor – I don't see Valentine winning the fashion face off.

While I wait for the reveal, commentary fills me in on a feud. At RPW Scum of the Earth – which I believe I watched, but completely forgot – Dred and Valentine almost tied, and the latter only won by being knocked out on top of the former. Nice, so I expect to see some storytelling here. I mean in addition to Valentine's unwitting blood feud with SHLAK.

When Valentine reaches the ring, Dred has removed the robes and indeed wears his usual outfit with his usual decent sportswear ratio, and that's enough to give him the victory.

It starts off with a furious exchange of punches, mainly from Valentine, but somehow Dred gains the upper hand. Probably because he is such an exceptional, wonderful human being. That also explains the unparalleled elegance with which he misses a cannonball and goes through the first pane of glass.

Valentine feeds into my narrative by dragging Dred out of the ring, into his natural, ring-less habitat. I imagine SHLAK is fuming backstage at this affront. It's hard to see what exactly Valentine is doing now. According to commentary, he's punching Dred with a cut-up can, and he does indeed have something yellow or green in his hand. The light tubes that get involved next are easier to see, as is Valentine when he gets thrown into the chairs.

Dred attacks with a big orange plastic barrier. It's frankly not the most fearsome weapon I've ever seen, but in the hands of such a violent virtuoso, it's naturally a tool of utter destruction. Unfortunately for said virtuoso, he's the one to taste his weapon. Valentine drags Dred around the ring, only to put him on a chair on the other side.

Backstage, SHLAK performs a dark, demonic ritual and compells his nemesis to roll Dred back into the ring. Confused, Valentine turns to crowd to ask for an exorcism. Instead, he is given a bottle of whisky and takes a swig. Back in the ring, he splashes onto Dred and a bundle of light tubes.

Jury comes up to the apron and distracts Valentine, which allows Dred to headlock driver him. He retreats to a corner though, as does Valentine, then Dred comes back to life with a basement dropkick. He masterfully places a pane of glass over Valentine, then the cannonball barely breaks it.

Armed with a cookie sheet – outright deadly in the hands of the genius Dred is – and a light tube, Dred follows Valentine across the ring for some carving. It's not really needed this late into the match – both have long been bloodied – but I trust a prodigy like Dred knows what he's doing. Or he's at least well on his way to figuring it out because he proceeds to hammer more light tubes into Valentine's forehead with his gavel.

Wait. Why does the ref start the count when Dred retreats to a corner? Why did the ref 'get to seven' last time? Is this a Texas Deathmatch? Last Man Standing? Probably.

Valentine gets up, only to eat a chair to the face, and Dred tells the ref to start counting again. Valentine gets up, another chair to the face, and another. Then a change: Valentine also gets a light tube and some punches, along with more chairs. Meanwhile, Jury found the unbreakable door from the Nixon vs. Redacted match under the ring, and now sets it up in the ring between chairs. Behind him, Valentine gets up yet again though and proceeds to chokeslam Jury onto the door. It again doesn't break. Dred uses the distraction to floor Valentine and drag him to the corner where he pulls out a piece of rope and ties Valentine's feet to the ring post.

Channeling the spirit of SHLAK, he returns to the ring and piles up everything in reach on Valentine. Apparently, that counts under Texas Death rules because Dred is announced to be the winner shortly after. Nobody has ever looked more splendid in victory. At least until Valentine is freed and chases Dred to the back.

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INTERMISSION, RECAP

When I paused to write the recap, I realized that the show is over 4 hours long. Whoa. And I don't mean that in a negative way. So far, it's been far more fun than not. In fact, I almost feel at home. Outdoors show, decent commentary from Ron Niemi and PEAPOD, decent audio and camera work, stacked card, fairly gory matches that (with the exception of Cogar vs. Tremont) don't lack on the wrestling front, and a relatively strong fashion game (including a current tie between Redacted and Nixon). Seeing which promotions I consider 'home' – Slavonic Violence and IWA-DS - all that's missing is Russian commentary. Well, that, or a slight ick in the background, say, a not-so-discreetly placed Confederate flag.

The first match was short in comparison to the rest of round one, but entertaining and well-paced to get things started. The second match was a disappointment I didn't really expect in this form. While I do expect carving from Cogar, I always hold out hope that he keeps it to a tolerable level and doesn't build the entire match around it. He's not a bad wrestler and can hold his own without weapons, but for some reason, he prefers to rely on his straight razor in deathmatches instead.

The third match started off with a lot of smashing and outside brawling. However, it recovered and became pretty fun after that. In a weird way, it almost felt like was played backwards. Instead of escalating into chaos over time, it started out that way and evolved to a wrestling match. The final first round match was obviously a feast for the eyes. Not even Casanova 'Smashfest' Valentine could hold back a true master of the deathmatch art. Judge Joe Dred, a once-a-century talent like I've never seen one, could easily get an entertaining match out of a literal scarecrow. That man is a living allegory of intelligence, beauty, and majesty. Anything he touches turns into gold. He's just that awesome.

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Video: Chuck Stein, Will Carroll, and a shirtless hippie take a stroll through a forest. It's Brandon St. James, a little pixely, and I'm not listening because Will Carroll is annoying as fuck. They appear to have beef with Schwartzy and That Kyle.

Commentary are seconds away from announcing their engagement. For now, they announce two non-tournament matches though.

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Non-Tournament Match: Chuck Stein & Brandon St. James vs. Schwartzy & Randi West

Chuck Stein has a 0 % wrestling/sportswear ratio, but gets a high score for gimmick clarity and is thereby excused. Family Feud thought experiment: If you show 100 people pictures of Dr. Redacted and Chuck Stein, and ask which of them is a real punk/medical professional, I'd wager Stein might get close to 100 votes. It doesn't get more authentic than him. However! Gimmick clarity is not the only thing that influences a rating. White shirt, black jeans. Redacted may not get picked as a real medical professional (which would obviously be slander because he's definitely a real doctor), but he does have the overall better colors for deathmatches.

St. James certainly doesn't. He's all in black, but has themed tights and kickpads. I still think he looks more like a hippie and/or metalhead than a punk though. Will Carroll, who I'd label as rockabilly or greaser for the sake of completion, accompanies Stein and St. James to the ring, but as always, a person does not count as an accessory.

Schwartzy wears all black, but has sportswear in the form of shorts, black shirt, yellow sunglasses, black baseball hat, and a sex doll that does count as accessory. Randi West wears black pleather and a red top to red gloves, and since it's a red/black theme, I will not consider the red footwear a mismatch to the black belt. It's a decent sportswear ratio, but Chuck Stein's theme game is way too strong to overcome, more so because he's also the only one with any white. St. James got rid of his black shirt just in time, but again, no threat for Stein.

There appear to be several dildo weapons involved. Oh well. Better that than no weapons at all, I suppose. Commentary threatens me by bringing up 44OH again, but then, I do like the sound of 'Vincent Nothing'.

Schwartzy and West call Stein and St. James to the crowd. Great. It's an outside brawl from the get go. Maybe I don't want to watch this, after all. Schwartzy and St. James arrive in the ring. Alright. I'll give it a shot. Will Carroll interferes, kind of, to no result. Stein returns and gets two gusset plates in the head, then a 'human centipede' spot ends my determination to watch this match. If I want cringe comedy, which is never, I watch IWA-DS's Softcore Cups.

West and Schwartzy win and steal Chuck Stein's jacket and baseball bat.

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Promo: Lou Nixon explains the RPW Rust Belt Deathmatch Championship.

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ROUND 2

Match 1 – RPW Rust Belt World Title Match - Judge Joe Dred vs. Lou Nixon (C)

Steven Jury now wears a neck brace. Dred wears the same as before: the most splendid (albeit all black) outfit I ever had the pleasure of beholding. Man, he wears it with such grace, too. It's almost otherworldly.

No outfit change for Nixon either. I will just refer to my previous judgement because it would feel blasphemous to spell it out in the magnificent presence of my gallant Joe Dred.

This match doesn't appear to be FBTW. There are no weapons except for light tubes and a pane of glass. The opening duel ends with Nixon in charge after the first smashed tubes. Nixon finds a light tube nunchuck and smashes that on Dred as well. Dred fights back with tubes and elbow smashes, then Nixon counters a punch attempt into an armbar takedown and a first submission attempt. Dred escapes quickly and keeps the upper hand though. He proceeds to smash tubes, kicks and mocks Nixon, until he gets caught in an armbar submission again.

Jury interferes and hits Nixon with the suitcase, and gets caught in the same predicament as his client. Dred uses the distraction to sneak up, headlock drivers Nixon, and gets a three count after a surprisingly short match of barely 6 minutes.

Yes. This looks right. A title was all Dred's already dashing outfit was missing. Now it is perfect. He is the glorious sun, and I feel privileged to revel in his golden light in this moment.

Tommy Vendetta, wearing a golden crown, challenges/mocks Dred and/or Nixon. Can't tell, he has no microphone. Nixon does though, and he challenges Vendetta to a match at an upcoming show. I hope he'll steal his golden crown and give it to Dred. He should have all the golden regalia in the world.

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Cut to a... band? Two shirtless guys with guitars. One of them looks like middle-aged John Tenta. A bald and shirtless guy joins them, as does a drummer. They play music and I skip, and somehow there are smashed tubes and everyone is bleeding now. John Tenta and Bald Guy set up a door between chairs. The other guy apparently blindfolds the drummer. I have no idea who these people are or what they are doing or why, so I skip some more.

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Match 2 – SHLAK vs. Matt Tremont

SHLAK wears the usual and is appropriately blood-covered for a semi-final. No outfit change for Tremont either, and also an appropriate amount of blood on his face. Based on exposed skin and a slight sportswear advantage due to knee/elbow pads, this is a clean victory for SHLAK.

Tremont brings a bundle of light tubes and attacks with it right away. I see more light tubes – because they immediately engage in a smashfest on the outside – and there's a cinderblock in a corner, too. Guess who is back in the ring first? SHLAK. And a light tube door appeared out of nowhere. A cinderblock duel ends in favor of SHLAK who gets a first two count out of Tremont mere minutes into the match. A chokeslam puts Tremont through the light tube door, and SHLAK gets a three count after that. Okay? That was... quick. And I mean really quick. 3 minutes would be a generous estimate.

Tremont challenges SHLAK to a cinderblock canvas match on an upcoming H2O show. (This match took place at H2O Concrete Hell, for those interested.)

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Promo: That Kyle talks about the Kamikaze title and his upcoming match against champion Remington Rhor.

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Intermission with the commentary bromance. Niemi refers to Tommy Vendetta as 'heel'. Maybe I'm old school, but I dislike it when commentators break kayfabe like that. This kind of terminology shouldn't be used on air.

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Non-Tournament Match

RPW Kamikaze Championship Match – That Kyle vs. Remington Rhor (C)

Oh boy. Chuck Stein has a snake in his stable. That Kyle, although all in black, steals Stein's fashion thunder by incorporating tights and proper kickpads into a credible punk look. My illustrated guide to deathmatch fashion calls that the goldilocks zone, a perfect balance between gimmick clarity and a pro wrestler look. The final ranking depends on the shirt. If it stays on, the overall blackness and skin coverage will hold the look back behind Redacted and Nixon. If it comes off, anything is possible here.

Will Carroll accompanies That Kyle, too, and again, he's not an accessory. Unfortunately, he obtains a microphone and talks and talks and I'm not listening.

Rhor wears black shorts and proper kickpads, the vest comes off, the machetes are fine accessories since they aren't people, but fatally, tan belt to black shoes. Kyle has indeed removed the shirt when the camera pans back to him. I do rank it above Redacted, but below Nixon based on colors and coverage. Unless Tommy Vendetta, who will face the winner of the final, pulls out some unexpected miracle look, I have my top three.

The match starts with a chase around the ring that ends with a struggle over a light tube once they are back in the ring. Both eat light tubes, Rhor tries a first pin after a senton. Will Carroll tries to get involved again, but ends up in the ropes next to Kyle and under Rhor's machete. Once Carroll is gone, there's some wrestling with a dropkick from Kyle. He finds a light tube skateboard and takes it to the top rope, and geez, Carroll is back again. Does he really have to be there? Kyle double stomps Rhor with the skateboard, then the action moves to the outside. A barbed wire crutch sees use; Kyle stays in charge. At some point, he finds a weapon even more fearsome than salt and vinegar chips: cereal. Okay?

A seated slugfest ensues, Rhor comes out on top. Goddamn Will Carroll just has to meddle again. It's really getting annoying. Rhor finds a shopping cart and launches it at Kyle; a holy shit scene to make me forget Carroll. They return to the ring where Rhor places a chair with light tubes in the middle of the ring, then carves Kyle up with loose tubes. Rhor's attempt to put Kyle on the tube chair is countered with a DDT. After a struggle, Kyle catches Rhor for a Gory Bomb onto the chair.

The match devolves into a bit of a smashfest for a while. Rhor then drags a barbed wire frame into the ring and puts a pane of glass on it, then death valley drives Kyle onto it for the victory. Kyle is completely covered in red, and Rhor's back is a mess as well.

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FINALS

Match 1 - RPW Rust Belt Championship Title Match - SHLAK vs. Judge Joe Dred (C)

No change for SHLAK except more blood on his face. He looks appropriately like a finalist. No change for Dred either, but he has a good amount of blood on his white wraps. Man, how does he manage to look so impossibly dapper at all times? Does he just roll out of bed, all wrapped up in GQ cover boy material, in the morning? Probably. (For the record, SHLAK has better skin exposure and more blood, plus his belt matches the boots, but I'm not known to blaspheme.)

Dred obtains a microphone and brags about his title and how he's going to win it all. This is pure ASMR. A voice like smoked honey, and the eloquence of a poet. I could listen to him all day.

♪ They say in heaven complex psychological trauma responses to hostage situations come first - - you make heaven a place on earth ♫

I won't though because the match begins, and I also learned that the eponymous 'king of the kill' isn't a title, but a person: previous winner Tommy Vendetta. The match against him is considered the final. For some reason, I hadn't considered that possibility despite him wearing a crown.

Dred challenges SHLAK to wrestle. SHLAK obliges and down to the mat they go. SHLAK targets Dred's injured arm, but Dred turns it around and gets SHLAK into a crossface, which in turn is flipped into a pinfall attempt. Both go for the light tubes now, then floor each other with a double clotheline. Dred rolls out of the ring, and to my surprise, SHLAK is already there, armed with tubes. Dred's crimson mask looks splendid. SHLAK continues his assault with a chair shot and a suplex into the chairs. He procees to throw chairs at Dred, until Dred turns it around and gives SHLAK a taste or two of the chairs and tubes.

Fujiwara armbar, commentary. Not Fujurama.

The action remains on the outside. I begin to fear that SHLAK lost his way. Or maybe he thinks he has nothing to prove to the man who took Casanova Valentine out in round 1? SHLAK proceeds to just claw at Dred's forehead, then he restores my faith in him by returning to the ring. His piledriver attempt onto a chair is countered, and instead, Dred gets a two count after a sitout slam. He does go onto the chair shortly after though, and SHLAK also gets a close two count.

Tubes get smashed, straight from the box, then SHLAK climbs the top rope with a bundle. He hits an elbow drop with it, but instead of going for a pinfall, he targets Dred's injured arm again. Dred doesn't tap though, and Jury rushes in to attack SHLAK with the title. Now both are down, but Matt Tremont shows up to attack Jury and throw him out of the ring.

He throws chairs at him outside, and meanwhile, Dred steals a page from SHLAK's playbook by trying to submit/choke him out with a plastic bag. SHLAK counters it with a snapmare, claims the plastic bag, and succeeds in choking Dred out to win the Rust Best title.

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RECAP, (not really) INTERMISSION

Personally, I could do without dildo comedy matches, but I'm not holding that against the show. In general, I think a few well-placed non-tournament matches elevate a card and show that a promotion has more to offer. While this was not my kind of humor, the match was well-placed, so I consider the presence a positive.

I can't really say the same about round two. Both matches were very short, SHLAK vs. Tremont comically so at 2.5 minutes. I'm also not sure what to make of the feud that seems to simmer in the background. Commentary mentioned that Dred calls himself the 'Newdozer' a few times, obviously a play on Tremont's -dozer variations. Other than that, nothing really points at a feud between them though. Up until Tremont's interference in favor of SHLAK, it more looked like the two of them were building up to something with the bizarrely short match and the challenge. I suppose I'd need further context to figure this out. Which I might well get. All in all, I'm liking this tournament and will probably do some catching up and/or pay closer attention to RPW from now on.

The second non-tournament match for the Kamikaze title made up for the short and therefore somewhat disappointing round 2. Both matches combined were only about 8 minutes long, so I'm not sure about the placement of a non-tournament match right after. What bothered more though was the near-constant interference from Will Carroll. I don't know why Stein's stable needs that guy anyway. Stein can talk just fine himself, and a bunch of punks (that also seem to be face-leaning) really don't need a random guy to interfere on their behalf. It's a heel thing, as demonstrated by Steven Jury. He's as close to an accessory as a person can be; a part of Dred's gimmick with a well-defined role as the weasely backup cheat.

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Match 2 - RPW Rust Belt World Championship Title Match - SHLAK (C) vs. Tommy Vendetta

No outfit change for SHLAK except for more blood. That alone gives him a huge advantage over Vendetta who wears long black pants to a white long sleeve sweater, a camo vest, sneakers, and the golden crown. There's a theme and a gimmick to justify the outfit, but that doesn't make it a great choice. Easy victory for SHLAK.

Two ringsides have light tube-fenced ropes, and there are several piles/boxes of loose tubes in the ring. Vendetta kicks things off by smashing tubes. SHLAK tries to help him on the fashion front by removing Vendetta's deathmatch shirt, only to reveal a white t-shirt underneath. It's an improvement, yes, but all things considered, a minor one. I can't count it anyway since the match has already started.

Vendetta remains dominant with more tube smashing. Most of the fence on the ropes is gone less than 3 minutes in. He takes off the white shirt, and Vendetta has a black one underneath, and I think I see another white layer under that. Gimmick or not, this man is hopeless when it comes to fashion. His wrestling game unfortunately isn't better today. So far, there's really been nothing but tube-smashing. Vendetta removes the black shirt and yep, there's indeed a white one. It appears to be his final form.

SHLAK wakes up from lying on the canvas, and now throws and smashes tube – but also whips out a brainbuster. The first wrestling move yields a two count, and now both are floored. SHLAK comes back to life first and also removes Vendetta's final shirt. What is this, a hen party or a deathmatch? Vendetta remembers that piledrivers exist and hits SHLAK with three in a row. SHLAK doesn't care, gets back up, hits a powerbomb, and wins. Oh.

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It's 3:24 out of the total 4:19 runtime, so this very short final comes as a surprise. SHLAK calls for a microphone. Maybe he'll deliver a 40 minutes long victory speech. Nope. Brief speech, and commentary already say their farewells.

Cut to the 'stage', apparently recorded at an earlier point because there's still daylight. A different band is playing. For 40 minutes, as skimming through the remainder of the runtime reveals. Alright. Looks like I'm done here then. Time for the final thoughts.

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Final Thoughts

First things first. I have a few candidates for the MOTN in the tournament. It's between Dred vs. SHLAK (round 3) and Redacted vs. Nixon (round 1). I think I'm going with the former due to the overall better pacing and storytelling. If I include non-tournament matches, Kyle vs. Rhor ties on 3rd with Dred vs. Valentine (round 1).

Generally, round 1 was where the meat and bones of the tournament were. With the exception of my newly crowned MOTN, the other tournament matches - including the final with the fresh Tommy Vendetta - were really, really short. That makes it difficult to name a MVP. Normally, it would be a no-brainer, seeing SHLAK had the highest total with 4 matches, but in this case, that doesn't translate to an automatic win. The opener against King was a little over 5 minutes, the second round against Tremont less than half of that at only 2.5 minutes, and I'd estimate the final to be around 7 minutes, much of which SHLAK spent lying on the mat. One short match is perfectly fine. Two would push it, but if the quality was there, I'd let it fly. Three out four, however, doesn't cut it, especially because the final also just wasn't good.

All my half-joking biases aside, that leaves Dred as MVP. With 3 matches, he had the second-highest total, two of which were good and not comically short, had strong showmanship and storytelling, and the third – although this really doesn't count for much – was at least the longer one out of round 2.

Best Dressed had a really interesting field and for once a true fight between three excellent representations of my rating categories. The final ranking makes Lou Nixon (great color choices, 100 % sportswear that also suits the hint of a gimmick - MMA background - he has, strong Family Feud test result) the winner, with That Kyle (high wrestling attire ratio, strong theme, meh colors) in second, and Dr. Redacted (strong theme, good colors, meh skin exposure) in third.

All in all, this was a pretty entertaining show and convinced me to (re)watch more Ruthless Pro events. Obviously somewhat flawed due to the strange ring time distribution, and the weapon/wrestling balance skewed slightly too much toward the former, but it was still fun to watch. I could have done without the random cuts to the bands, and didn't need the comedy tag match either, but that was strictly because this isn't my kind of humor. Having non-tournament matches in the first place is usually a positive to me, and the second one undoubtedly was. Overall, I do recommend the show.

PS: Note to commentary and the very disrespectful audience: Stop ragging on Dred! He's really not a bad guy once you get to know him. He's just misunderstood.

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