CZW Tournament of Death 19 (2022)

To make a long story short, I picked this show because it is the shortest on my immediate to do list at just under 2 hours. Life gets busy with the holidays around the corner, so I'm grateful for short tournaments at the moment.

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ROUND 1

Match 1 – Barbed Wire Massacre – Otis Cogar vs. Bobby Beverly

Match 2 – Panes of Glass & Taipei – Big F'N Joe vs. Necro Butcher

Match 3 – Shark Teeth Home Run Derby – Brad Cash vs. Insane Lane

Match 4 – Light Tube Bundles – Mickie Knuckles vs. Orin Veidt

ROUND 2

FINAL

Final Thoughts

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ROUND 1

Match 1 – Barbed Wire Massacre – Otis Cogar vs. Bobby Beverly

Fashion icon Otis Cogar hits his 100 % streetwear ratio with impressive consistency. Today, he wears winter camo pants to a black shirt and black leather jacket, white beanie and white sneakers. If any of this was wrestling attire or at least sportswear, it would still be meh in regards to colors, but probably stand a good chance to end up in the middle field with some white.

Bobby Beverly makes the interesting choice to cast off two accessories that would have worked in his favor before he even reaches the ring: a white leather jacket with tassles and a black cowboy hat. Now without a hint of a theme, he wears sneakers, blue long pants and a black shirt, both with neon-green BEV print. This isn't great. The colors don't go together, and none of it is wrestling or sportswear. All this outfit does is make me appreciate 44OH's yellow power ranger, Eric Ryan, who typically makes more of his assigned color.

As sad as this fashion duel is, I'm afraid I have to give the victory to Cogar for at least having some white.

The ring looks more promising. Big barbed wire boards, two barbed wire webs on the outside, and there's also a door that might belong to the match.

It starts off with a quick exchange of punches, then Beverly shoves Cogar through the first board. What is that? Cogar's shirt comes off to reveal a singlet (black, yet still a vast improvement of his wrestling attire ratio), and yet he puts the shirt back on? I'm revoking his victory for paddling back on that. Isn't he covered enough with long pants and sleeves? Anyone has a helmet for him? Can Tommy Vendetta lend him another layer? It's a draw now because come on.

Beverly rolls outside, Cogar follows, and a brief chairshot duel ensues. Loose wire gets used for some carving, headbutts are exchanged. They are right next to the barbed wire net, and Cogar sets it up between guardrail and apron. Beverly gets up before anything comes of it though, and they exchange another few unprotected chairshots. Some people are into that, I suppose. Light tubes break – it's on theme though; the bundle was wrapped in barbed wire. Cogar finds barbed wire kendo sticks, and the duel continues with those. Still waiting for a wrestling move.

Cogar maneuvers the door around for a long time, and finally sets it up between two chairs outside the ring. Beverly gets rolled onto it and I'm holding my breath for a wrestling move. It comes in the form of an elbow drop from the apron, although Beverly rolls away. Back in the ring, the chair makes a comeback, and a Beverly gets a first two count after a chairshot. When he tries to suplex Cogar onto a barbed wire chair, Cogar counters. Just when I was about to say the match is on the right track to become better, he pulls out his straight razor and buries my hopes. A surprise vertical suplex that puts Beverly through the barbed wire web reignites them briefly, but Cogar goes for a cheesegrater as follow up, so we're back at carving.

Back in the ring, Beverly does his part to improve the wrestling to weapon balance with a series of suplexes, and putting Cogar through the second web after a struggle on the top rope. Once staff cut Cogar out of the wire and he's back in the ring, Beverly unleashes a series of weapon shots – mainly chairs, but also a barbed wire bat – on him, and wins the match via knockout.

I liked the finish sequence, but other than that, this match suffered from some really long lengths when either Cogar or Beverly had to be freed from the barbed wire webs. What stood out to me as well was that commentary pointed out that Beverly never won the tournament. Well, neither did Cogar, but that went unmentioned. Do I smell foreshadowing?

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Match 2 – Panes of Glass & Taipei – Big F'N Joe vs. Necro Butcher

Joe brings the strongest outfit yet to the table – white shirt and briefs, red tie. Since nobody else had sportswear yet, I can't hold the lack of such against him. Necro Butcher wears blue jeans shorts (capris? - it depends on the leg) to proper black boots. Considering the average so far, it's not the worst – good exposure, good footwear, decent color – but it's hardly what I'd call a good look. Unless the gimmick he's aiming for is 'the creepy uncle who keeps touching your sister at family gatherings', there's also no theme. I suppose it's a callback to his old school look at TOD1, but the days of his youthful charm are long over. I'll give this one to Joe based on color and theme (whatever exactly it is).

Surprisingly for a taipei match that involves Necro Butcher, the opening is not an exchange of punches. Necro throws a pane of glass at Joe instead, then tries it again on the outside – twice – but both times, the glass doesn't break. I also notice that neither of them has taped hands, so maybe Cagematch is lying about the taipei part. They go into the crowd and it quickly turns into 'every Necro Butcher match of the past 5 years' – an outside brawl with crowdsourced weapons and the crowd blocking the camera. According to commentary, Necro has a 'spike' or 'something sharp'. Apparently they can't see what's going on either and just guess random objects.

Where's Waldo?

When Necro and Joe return to the camera's reach, Joe is bloodied and Necro briefly takes him into a leglock, then hits him with chairs. I'm baffled that people are still not bored of this. All this needs is a little guardrail involvement... There we go, Joe arranges a part of it and promptly gets slammed on it. Now it is exactly the same match Necro has been doing for years on repeat.

A third wrestling move in the form of a headbutt takes place once they are back in the ring, then Necro smashes some light tubes on Joe who has barely done anything other than taking a beating. More tube smashing, Necro's comical bridging pin only yields a two, then the beating continues with chops in the corner. Joe finally hits back, but the offense is short-lived. A 'bulldog', in the wider sense, gets Necro only a one. Joe now comes back to life with punches and actually manages to floor Necro. The jabfest goes to round 2, still with Joe in charge. A spontanous side suplex gets him a three count.

Joe's outfit rating improved significantly with plenty of red. The match, however, was an absolute dud for me. No balance, a long stretch was barely visible in the crowd, and other than the first pane getting shattered, there were no high points or even interesting spots. It was a match I've seen dozens of times from Necro with no variation, and Joe did nothing to add anything new to it.

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Match 3 – Shark Teeth Home Run Derby – Brad Cash vs. Insane Lane

Joe is not without competition today. Brad Cash wears white pants and white shirt over a black-green singlet and proper black boots. Bonus point for matching belt/boots, too. He's far more covered than Joe, but it's easily enough to put him on rank 2. Unless...

Lane wears white-yellow shorts to a white shirt, a purple galaxy-themed cape, black boots. The cape naturally comes off, which leaves Lane in mostly white and due to the shorts, slightly less covered than Cash. That makes Lane the winner of this duel, and the preliminary runner-up to Joe.

This match does start with a flurry of punches from Cash, and he smashes the first bats on Late less than a minute into the match. Lane counters with a neckbreaker, then tears the shirt off Cash. Gotta say, their colors match very nicely. Lane continues with a shark tooth bat, then finds shark tooth pool noodles to slap Cash with. They move outside where Cash stabs Lane with a fork. I'm positively surprised that he keeps it brief, just enough to get the blood flowing, and quickly returns to on-theme weapons. The brawl continues on the outside, but doesn't stray from the ring, so the camera manages to stay on the action.

I wouldn't call it a spectacular match so far, but it's also not boring or slow. Wrestling moves are sparse, but they are there – until a power tool finds its way into the ring. Cash introduces it, Lane ends up using it. Commentary calls it a buzzsaw, I think it's a grinder of some kind. Either way, they use the tool for a good while, and my interest in the match dissipates. They return to shark teeth weapons after a while though, and there's an uptick in wrestling again, too. An exploding bat shot from Cash against Lane, followed by a close two count, brings back my attention. After the stupid power tool scene, I'm happy something made boom.

Cash pours something – thumbtacks or more shark teeth – onto a blue pool board and tries to slam Lane onto it, but he counters, Cash goes face first onto the board, and Lane gets a three count.

Not the best match I've ever seen, but better than the one before. This one had balance, no crowd brawl, and – other than the grinder/saw part – better pacing and spots. Which is frankly not hard with such dull competition.

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Match 4 – Light Tube Bundles – Mickie Knuckles vs. Orin Veidt

Ugh. Do I have to watch this? It's going to be a smashfest with cringe comedy. As highly as I think of Veidt's wrestling ability, it takes two to tango and last I counted, there's only one of him. I also have the vague hope to get another review written to fill the holidays, so I'll make a short tournament even shorter by saying that I'm sure Orin did his best as he usually does, and move on.

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ROUND 2

Match 1 - ??? - Bobby Beverly vs. Big F'N Joe

No outfit change for Beverly, but his face is appropriately messed up for a semi-final. This is probably not a surprise, but it stands no chance against Joe who is a mess, head to toe. The head especially because he puts on a red MAGA hat during his entrance. Can't they keep this bullshit in XPW where I don't have to see it? Anyway, victory for Joe.

No stipulation is announced, but going by the random stuff in the ring, it's probably FBTW. There are some light tubes and vaguely Halloween-themed/colored things, a pumpkin, baseball bats.

Beverly opens the match by immediately smashing a bundle of tubes on Joe, then another and another. He targets the legs specifically though, so there's a strategy at play. Joe stops the assault with a DDT, and follows up with a suplex onto a flatscreen TV. Joe arranges the TV on Beverly who apparently doesn't feel like selling the senton and gets right up to go back to smashing tubes. Joe throws in a scoop slam to mix it up, but mostly it looks like they are trying to go through the tubes in record time.

There's a struggle over a big candy corn-themed bundle, and Joe gets a first two count after a nice swinging sidewalk slam. After a brief arguement with the ref, Joe sets Beverly up in a corner with a water jug on a stick for a cannonball. I assume that means there are no tubes left. Another cover yields only a two again. Joe continues his assault by smashing a picture frame, followed by a shotgun dropkick, and a fist drop using a baby doll. Again, the cover only gives him a two.

Surprisingly, there are some tubes left, just no loose ones or bundles. Joe places a tube-reinforced water jug in position for a slam, but Beverly struggles out of it and side suplexes Joe on it, then through a light tube crutch, and gets a three count after that.

According to Cagematch, this was only 5:32 mins, but it didn't feel short or rushed. While tubes were breaking almost constantly, there was no shortage of wrestling moves, and it also felt fairly balanced. I think I liked this match more than the round 1 offerings.

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Match 2 – FBTW – Mickie Knuckles vs. Insane Lane

Oh god, she advanced. It's going to be a very short review if I skip this, too. After this match, there's only the final. I was about to type 'as a compromise, I'll watch until the first comedy spot', but the match hasn't even started when Knuckles offers Lane baguettes as weapons. Yeah, no. Finals it is. Just to keep track, she wears black, he wears white. Easy victory for Lane.

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FINAL

Mickie Knuckles vs. Bobby Beverly

Great. Knuckles again. What do we have this time? A rubber chicken? A clown nose that makes a honking noise? No, for now, it's a no canvas ring with a scaffold, barbed wire, loose tubes, and there's a trash can with weapons on the outside. Beverly's match against Joe instilled just enough hope in me to give it a try. To start off: Easy fashion victory for Knuckles who now wears white, more wrestling attire, and is far more exposed.

As expected, they start off by smashing tubes and for a good while, nothing else enters the picture. To be fair, this barely qualifies as a ring anymore, so I don't expect anything but a brawl. Outside the ring, light tubes become rarer in favor of punches, chairshots, and guardrails. Again, commentary stresses that Beverly never won the tournament, and again, I need to add: Neither did Knuckles (yet). The only TOD winner on the card is Necro Butcher who won TOD 1 many, many moons ago.

After a brief intermission with a thumbtack bat, light tubes and punches become the dominant theme, still on the outside. Beverly goes through a barbed wire board at some point, and there's a first pinfall from Knuckles. Right back to smashing tubes, then Knuckles gets a pizza cutter from the crowd. Exactly what this match needed. A weapon that is good for absolutely nothing but carving.

Thankfully, probably, the match goes back to the canvas where Beverly floors Knuckles with two punches. We're at a glacial pace now, and the wrestling ratio hasn't picked up from 'roughly 0 unless forearm smashes count'. Knuckles tries a low dropkick which fails to break the light tube in Beverly's shirt. Beverly crushes the tubes in hers with a simple stomp. More smashing, I'm zoning out and what is that, Cagematch? This match is 19 minutes long?!

Skipping ahead, I land on a long, long scene of staff building a pillow fort beneath the scaffold while Beverly and Knuckles wait on top. Once the contraption, consisting of 2x4s, panes of glass, and light tubes is set on fire, they crash through it and Beverly gets a three count.

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FINAL THOUGHTS

MOTN, Beverly vs. Joe I guess, Best Dressed Joe, runner-up Insane Lane, MVP Beverly due to the total of matches, including the MOTN. The final wasn't great; very little wrestling, the nonsensical intermission and staff setting up a much too elaborate contraption, but I think Beverly earned his big tournament victory more than his 44OH buddy Eric Ryan earned his two KOTDM crowns.

Yay, I'm done! Now I can watch something more fun!

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